I woke up this morning and didn’t feel great.  I felt a resistance to writing.

Having said that I woke up wanting to achieve something today and that was to design a structure around my new website; to come up with some ideas around the structure, logos and colour scheme etc

Where I’d normally set myself up for the day physically, emotionally and mentally by going for a run, stretching, asking myself some great questions and exploring my outcomes for the day, instead I went straight into focusing on and creating this new website layout.

The lesson I got from this is is about decisions, the power of decisions and how we make them.  It’s more than I want to go into here, suffice to say there was a strategy I used there which is very useful and it certainly didn’t involve analysing much!

“It is in our moments of decision that our destiny is created” Anthony Robbins

You see, decisions happen in a moment, change happens in a moment!  But it can take a long time to get to the point of change or the decision.

So the book I’m writing is called Be Do & Have Anything, which is a pretty big claim! Having said that I do to truly believe that we can Be, Do & Have Anything!  If we simply learn how to learn understand what we truly want and the patterns of human behaviour that hold us back as well as those that get the results we want.

There are people out there in this world who have achieved enormous success who came from nothing. In fact if you look, statistically most famous people and self-made millionaires have come from impoverished backgrounds, traumatic childhoods or are in fact orphans!

So in some respects it’s pain, or ‘problems’ that can be the very catalyst or driver for success.  If you look up the dictionary definition of proBLEM – a blem is something symbolic throw in the way.  And ‘pro’ is something that comes before – your outcome!

I believe that success without fulfillment is failure and so rather than aiming at success, and possibly achieving it at the expense of happiness or all the other important things in our life, I believe that we should be aiming at becoming ‘the best me” possible.

You see most people in modern times have until now (and this is an enormous generalisation) aimed to have nice cars, houses, televisions, clothes and so on.  And to have what they think will make them happy. But generally it doesn’t create sustainable happiness or fulfillment because our emotional state changes all the time.

They tend to think in terms of

HAVE  X
DO  Y
BE  HAPPY

rather than BE, DO & HAVE…

This is the paradox of humanity, impermanence.  We aim and strive for certain things like happiness, a bigger house or a good job and then the feeling we get is only temporary so in trying to accumulate or have we’re missing the rules of the game.  The question now then, is what do we do?

Well have been conditioned or taught in Western society to do what we enjoy, to get a good education, then a good job. But this doesn’t make us happy in the long term either. It is only temporary.  There is a lot to be said for doing what you love or doing what you enjoy and we’ll be exploring how to find and follow your passions in life in due course but for now, and to illustrate a point – most people want to have so they can be happy and then they do things so that they can have things they think will make them happy and in doing so miss the rules of the game, the game of life. And that is that in order to be happy, we have to be.

There is no road to happiness, happiness is the road.

So the sequence I believe, in order to be truly happy is in fact

BE
DO
HAVE

We don’t have or do happiness, we are happy.  We aren’t human doings or human havings but human beings. Be happy, Do things that make you and others happy and then, in time you can Have Anything!

And so in learning how to be, and learning who you are, in being first, and then doing, we can then have anything we truly want and start to understand the paradoxical nature of the world by turning things upside down and going with the flow of the Universe, rather than the demands of our ego.  We then find our place in this world – where there is more joy, more possibility and more passion than most people would ever have dreamt of.

So who are you?

And how do you know when you are being your best?

And I wonder how you can set yourself up each day to be the best you, you can possibly be?

“This” is the very first word of my book.  I mean I have written a lot of the years and I have journalled, mind-mapped, written a chapter outline, book proposals, blogs and so on… but I have until this very moment not actually started to write, on a computer, the beginnings of my written book with the outcome as one cohesive piece of work.

I felt enormous resistance to starting this book. And I think now that I have started this could be the start of a tidal wave or avalanche of inspiring thought provoking consciousness-raising words that begin to formulate my book and indeed blog. And perhaps I’ll even begin to formulate another book which I have in my mind, as a result.

This morning I woke up and I realised there I’ve been putting off this moment for a long and the implications of continuing to put off this moment any longer would start to affect me both financially and emotionally. And I didn’t want that! So my motivation in this moment, is primarily away from rather than towards… avoiding pain rather than to gain pleasure. On the other hand having started writing, I now find myself very much focused on creating something of value, something that changes lives and something that helps me to clarify my thoughts, beliefs and experience in a way that also helps others do the same.

I think that by writing this book, as I sit here now, the easiest way to begin that process on a consistent basis is by a writing as if I am blogging. That way it becomes more of a stream of consciousness on a daily basis which I can put to paper, than a rigid, linear, focused exercise which is not the way my brain works. Part of the resistance I’ve had until now is this notion of having to sit down and write according to the way that I have formulated the book in my mind; in a way that I have to write step-by-step, chapter by chapter, sub chapter by sub chapter. But I don’t want to do that.

I want to write with creativity and inspiration and connectivity and passion and I believe that those are the things that make the difference; the difference that makes a difference in life. And now I believe that those are the things that make the difference in my writing in a way that connects people who they actually are, and the potential that they can bring to themselves and the world. And that an inspiring place to be!

And so here I am, having not really started my book but having started the stream of consciousness. And that feels good. Now, stream of consciousness out of the way, I feel that I could start writing in a way that really connects people and helps people to be, do and have anything they truly want!

I have also had some revelations about the editing process, and I think that by having people help me to edit, transcribe, and copyright my verbal dictations and my own writing I can save myself an awful lot of time and energy by simply getting on with the job I am good at and allowing others to tidy up the edges and to make better what I’ve already made good.

So here goes… I’m blogging my consciousness and then going to edit and turn the bits I like into a book and have someone else edit those… buckle up.  It’s started… all with a word!

And I wonder what you will now do…

What is the barrier to you creating something amazing right now?

What are you committed to starting, that you have been putting off, until now?

Love and light
Tristan

Grinning from ear to ear and very excited to be back, I have just arrived in the UK to grey skies and a damp Monday morning having been away for about 5 months. Time to reflect on what an amazing journey I have been on in that time, and perhaps what kind of journey you have been on too….

It has been about 8 weeks since I finished my Vipassana meditation where I spent over 10 hours meditating in silence each day and the other 14 hours not speaking, reading, writing or even allowed to look into other people’s eyes….

Meditating 10 hours a day!

You might be wondering then, what on earth I actually got up to and how that journey has affected me now that I am back in the UK. Read on to find out….

Day seven and I am all set to go – I’m fully committed – only three days left to go out of ten days in total silence, showing me Buddha’s path to enlightenment and liberation. Little did I know that when I decided to go on this experience, but I am here now and committed to finishing my stint!

And to be fair with six days behind me and only 4 days to go, it’s a walk in the park now, the final furlong! This is going to be great, having had a pretty tough time of it for six days, I’ve have had my breakthrough and I am committed to writing my book. It’s all good… I have even found that by sitting on my knees with my feet tucked behind me while meditating, I can sit still for over an hour without too much discomfort and without my back going into spasm. I’m not yet sure that I can do this for 10 hours a day, but it beats sitting in a half-baked backbreaking lotus position which I simply couldn’t handle with two crushed vertebrae in my spine.

So feeling rather confident and puffed up like a plump robin, I find myself sitting for 45 minutes after lunch when the teacher calls me up to the front of the dhamma hall as he does with most people to check they are doing things correctly. I get up and start walking towards him and notice that something’s not quite right. But before I know it my head hits the ground and I crumple into a pile on the floor. I don’t really know what happened so my natural instinct is to pull myself back up and start walking again. I collapse again. Only this time I don’t get up. The commands simply aren’t getting through to my lower body, I have two dead legs. Waking most people out of their deep trance, I realize I have caused an imbalance in the otherwise equinamous vibe of the afternoon’s meditation session so I slowly drag myself to the front of the room with my legs trailing like a leper’s behind me.

I sat there feeling slightly embarrassed, in pain and hopeless as the teacher completely dismissed the incident and instead checked to see if I was meditating correctly. He didn’t acknowledge that anything out of the ordinary had occurred and so I figured whatever did just happen couldn’t be that serious or injurious to my health. Now that is equinomous… model that!! After a few words from the teacher and reciprocating nods of the head from me, I quietly limped back to my matt and sat back in the same position with my feet tucked behind me. Within moments I realized that there was something adrift; all was not well. I slowly got to my feet and hobbled to the back of the room and then left the hall to journey once again to my home, this time hopping on one foot.

Oh dear, it would appear I did some serious damage to my foot. The rest of the day I am confined to my bed trying to make sense of what happened and more to the point trying to assess the severity or damage. Have I broken my foot or is it just badly sprained? Lying there feeling sorry myself, I eventually let go of what was happening to me and simply became aware of my feelings, aware of my foot, aware my unconscious mind, my untamed mind taking me on this journey.

Then as the afternoon passed I started to become frustrated and wonder what I was missing out on; the experience, the journey, the enlightenment that the others were having that I was missing out on.

After a few of hours of completely unequanimous behaviour I decide I can just hop my way to the finish line and I made my way to the meditation hall. I began to meditate again. The last two or three days were as usual challenging but also rewarding as I slowly began to accept and understand the teachings of Buddha and the universal laws of nature that were in those teachings.

To be honest, there’s nothing that profound or especially enlightening, or even that challenging in the teachings. They are to me and I believe most people common sense. It is not some religion, doctrine or dogma but an understanding of the universal laws of nature.

The meditation technique works on a practical basis by scanning the body for sensations and then ensuring our conscious minds do not react with craving or aversion to those sensations. How that works on an unconscious level I pretty much understand – reprogramming the mind to not react to physical sensations or anchors which otherwise would trigger certain behaviors, but I have not experienced a fundamental transformation by meditating in that way for just 10 days. Having said that I am much more mindful and centred these days, but that may well have as much to do with the amazing and enlightening journey I have been on these last five months as the 10 day Vipassana meditation.

In NLP terms the process is to me like collapsing anchors at an unconscious level. I’m just not sure that I want to turn into a monk and spend my life meditating two hours a day or more in order to collapse craving or aversion anchors. And I do not like the idea that apparently once you commit to the path of Vipassana meditation you cannot and should not look into other disciplines. Apparently this is so you can truly master the technique. I have no doubt that it works for many people. It is similar in my quest in becoming a real master in NLP, to commit to one discipline and become a master in that rather than a jack of all trades. But paradoxically NLP encourages us, even requires that we explore, model and learn from other disciplines and people. It is the pursuit of excellence, or a commitment to a process of modeling excellence that is so much more flexible and I believe powerful than Vipassana. With Vipassana meditation I can’t get immediate changes in others. With NLP I can.

Either way it was a very challenging, enlightening and profound experience and I would recommend others to go on that journey if only to explore the edges of your boundaries and comfort zone and experience an extended period of reprogramming your mind to just BE. I think the journey enlightens us to another way of being. One where we can remain equanimous or perfectly balanced no mater what is going on around us. Now tell me someone who wouldn’t want that with all that is going on in the world right now?! As usual, knowing something and living it are two very different things; I think the idea behind Vipassana is to live and experience that equanimity or balance on a consistent basis so that it becomes a deeply ingrained way of being.

So as I sit here watching the drizzle fall from the grey London skies outside, I am reminded of what a wonderfully enriching journey I have been on these last few months and how no matter what does or doesn’t work with Vipassana meditation techniques the principles and underlying psychology behind the technique is useful for all of us to keep in mind. With so much going on in today’s busy world and with so many challenges around us, it is perhaps more important than ever to remain in our flow, not craving or averse to any experience or emotion but in stead to be really present, alive and open to the Universe and all the wonders it has to offer.

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” Anais Nin

And on that note, I will leave you to enjoy the sunshine that has just emerged through the grey and apparently impenetrable clouds, as it always does!

Until next time…

I’m almost overwhelmed with everything that’s going on at the moment. And I say almost, because I choose not to be overwhelmed. As I notice myself feeling less than resourceful and my muscles becoming tense I inadvertently smile, as I am sure you sometimes do too when you realize the futility of getting overwhelmed or frustrated. I guess I must have created an anchor so that when I start moving into the less than resources state I instantly take a breath, relax my muscles, smile and let go. Sometimes I have to do it consciously because I am still attached to feelings of frustration when I don’t get my way!

And perhaps this is one of the most enlightening and empowering lessons I have re-learned over the last month or so since my silent retreat; that is to allow silence to come into my life whenever I feel that I don’t have it. It is at first a decision I have consciously made – that I want to feel connected and empowered, rather than un-resourceful and disempowered – and then it is a commitment to what I have heard described as every day conscious living. Victor, an immensely calm Peruvian yoga instructor I met on my Vipassana meditation had what appeared to be a flag tattooed on the inner side of his forearm. It was a deep orange, green and blue colour which was in fact a symbol or anchor for him to experience every day conscious living.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.Watch your words, for they become actions.Watch your actions, for they become habits.Watch your habits, for they become character.Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” Someone famous!

I think it’s very interesting that while I’m travelling and enjoying life and the incredible adventures and freedom of being in India, Singapore, Malaysia and now Thailand I still feel the same emotions that people do right across the world in this new era of uncertainty and enlightenment. While I am free, having a ball and enjoying myself; able to do what I want, when I want with who I want I still have challenges, uncertainties and gaps between where I am and where I want to be. I believe there is a fundamental and inescapable truth in life – that problems never go away! I’ve heard it said that if we’re lucky and grow we tend to have better quality problems, but it is the realm of delusion to hope or assume that one day you will no longer have problems.

As we grow and develop our skills and abilities we learn to deal with these problems in new ways, at least that is the hope! Unfortunately it is not always the case. One of the ways we can deal with our problems better is through improving our understanding of the influence that language has on us and others, so perhaps calling these experiences challenges rather than problems is a first great step. We all love a challenge!

As Milton Erickson once said “you are going to use words that will influence the psychological and organic life of an individual today…. and twenty five years from now. So you better be willing to reflect upon the words you use… seek out and understand their many associations.” And still today, having studied linguistics over the last few years I am absolutely fascinated by the depth of their impact and my ability to continue learning how to use language to better influence my own world and the worlds of those around me.

Another way that we can better deal with our challenges is by embracing the realisation that we create problems through our thinking and perceptions and we can therefore solve them through changing our thinking and perceptions. So, to every problem there is a solution if we can just let go of our old ways of being and open up to a new truth, a new way of experiencing things. In fact I’d even go as far as saying that perhaps we create problems at an unconscious level so that we can evolve to a new level of being. That would be an interesting belief to hold.

As you may have noticed all has been very quiet on the blog front since my Vipassana silent meditation. It’s quite funny because my life has been anything but quiet over the last month.

I have been on an amazing adventure, travelling around Kerala in India for two weeks with my mum, followed by a week with both my best friend and mum in Malaysia. Mother has gone home to England now and I’ve just come back from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur, and I now find myself in Thailand for a month’s rest, reading, writing, relaxation, rejuvenation and reconnection. I wonder when and where you are taking time for those things that matter most to you in your life?

So much has happened in the last month it’s difficult to know where to start. From relaxing and reflecting in peace on the beach and around the pool at the Secret Beach in Allepey, to my mother arriving and the ensuing adventurous two weeks – including elephant and boat rides on the backwaters of Kerala, to the tea plantations and stunning mountain views in Munar and beyond – it has been pretty much a non-stop assault on the senses and spirit.

We encountered much wildlife on our travels and we spent a couple of days trekking to and from, and relaxing in a small hut in the jungle, which actually looked more like the African bush than Indian jungle. We rode elephants, indulged our eyesight with the beautiful tea plantations and views stretching for miles from the mountains of Munar to the wilderness of Chinnar. We visited more than one bird sanctuary and a couple of wildlife parks and our transport broke down more than once in both Malaysia and India. We experience crashing thunder and awe inspiring lightning; vibrant botanical gardens and another close encounter with a monkey! And then there were the butterfly parks, the gut wrenching food poisoning and to counter it, the stunning beaches in Kerala and Penang; we’ve even shared wardrobes and taxis with cockroaches. More recently I spent the day at Singapore zoo which was breathtaking and incredibly well designed, although I still find it hard to embrace and enjoy seeing leopards and the like cooped up like prisoners with no end to their sentence!

Throughout my time over the last month, while alone and with my friends and family, the thing that has really struck me is how relationships magnify the human experience. In my journey over the last four weeks I have both dulled and magnified my experience while with and without other people. I’ve also realised just how important, perhaps the most important thing, relationships really are in life.

I really enjoy and value my time alone. And I also realize that exploring a theme park or zoo; travelling around and exploring is for me not as emotionally engaging or fulfilling as being with someone special. So I do believe that the purpose of relationships is to magnify the human experience.

Unfortunately that can work both ways, for better or for worse! And so having developed the relationship with my mum over the last few weeks, I wonder now where you can use a perceived challenge in your relationships to magnify your experience for the better, by being the change you want to see in others or the world.

So while embracing the reflective nature of our world and the Universe, where do you want to, or perhaps more importantly need to be more flexible, need to grow, need to be the change in order to enhance your relationships so that they can be all that they can be… and truly magnify your experience and the experiences of those around you?

Until next time…