A Soft And Personal Take On NLP Training

I woke this morning to the most magical sunrise. It fact it was not the sunrise itself that was so magical but the clouds, in the way that they reflected and dispersed hues of orange, yellow and red stretching into silver lined clouds beyond.  And seeing them melting into the infinite blue sky beyond that really struck me.

It’s incredibly inspiring looking outside myself and being absorbed into nature and the world around rather than being absorbed in my own thinking; my own needs and desires.  I think it’s called being fully associated, or really in the moment!

And this morning I did that as I went for a run.  It was a truly magical, connecting and enthralling experience. I found myself running through deserted woodland, with the dew rising slowly and effortlessly from the green foliage around.  I’m feeling soft branches and leaves brushing my skin and the intense heat of the sun my forehead.  And I notice I am thinking of nothing and feeling everything.  And then as I become aware of the droplets of sweat beginning to fall from my forehead I notice myself saying ‘this really is beautiful’!  A big grin spreads across my face.

This I believe, is what life is about – experiencing the depths of our emotions, experiencing the here and now and perhaps more than anything, experiencing energy.

A couple of apparently profound thoughts came to me today while running and later sitting on the beach.  And one of those was about this concept of energy or flow.

I remember thinking to myself a long time ago about ‘flow’.  A  state of flow was something I really aspired to experience on a regular basis, in fact all the time. I became consciously aware of creating a state of flow myself and noticing when I was not in that state so that I could adjust my thinking, physiology and language patterns in order that I could get back into flow.

I think it is this, our ability to manage our state, change state and create a state that is really the difference that makes a difference in our experience of life, in our ability to be happy and to be, do and have anything we really want.

The only reason we do anything is for a feeling…

As humans we are emotion, or feeling driven creatures. We do things to gain pleasure and avoid pain, and often both are motivating factors at the same time.

There are three ways primary ways we create emotions.

NLP Training Tip 1 – Focus Creates Our Reality

Firstly, we create emotion by what we focus on. So if you focus on something you want to have in your life you will have one emotional reaction, and if you focus on something you don’t want you have a different emotional reaction. Focus, whether thinking internally in our minds or looking outside of ourselves creates emotion or feelings.

NLP Training Tip 2 – Wisdom Is In The Body

Physiologically, or moving our body also creates emotion… if you slouch now in your chair and don’t move you create one emotion. And now as you sit up and smile and take a deep breath you will create another emotion. We really can profoundly affect our experience in the here and now simply by moving out body.  Motion creates emotion!  And remember, knowledge is only rumour until it’s in the muscle.

NLP Training Tip 3 – The Limits Of Your Language Are The Limits Of Your Life

And finally our language, the words that we say to ourselves, also creates emotion.  Just think of the difference in your experience if you say to yourself “I feel fine”, “I’m not bad” or “I feel great”.  Every.  Word. Counts.

These are the three core components that I have discovered from my my NLP Training that create the emotions we feel on a day-to-day basis, and indeed from moment to moment.  Language, physiology and focus.

How are you creating energy?

And in mastering and modelling the difference makes the difference in creating different states that you want in your life, you can become master of your emotions.

So what’s the point in NLP Training and how can it help us master love, life and our Universe? Well…

“What we see and hear is what we think about what we think about is what we feel. What we feel influences reactions. Reactions become habits and is habits that determine our destiny.” Bob Grass

Thus, as we begin to pay attention to what we see and hear and learn to not only take action on those things that inspire us, but also unpack and release the fears and limiting beliefs that hold us back, our whole world opens up.  Suddenly choice, possibility and love exist where before there were barriers, impossibility and fear.

So I wonder what it is you will be paying attention to today?  And I also wonder how you will be using your inherent ability to change the way you are using your body, your language and your focus of attention to create new experiences and the states that you want to experience moment by moment….

And if you are interested to know more about NLP Training feel free to get in touch or join a free webinar sometime.

Despite the many NLP Courses I have been on, I’m almost overwhelmed with everything that’s going on at the moment.

And I say almost, because I choose not to be overwhelmed. As I notice myself feeling less than resourceful and my muscles becoming tense I inadvertently smile, as I am sure you sometimes do too when you realize the futility of getting overwhelmed or frustrated. I guess I must have created an anchor so that when I start moving into the less than resources state I instantly take a breath, relax my muscles, smile and let go. Sometimes I have to do it consciously because I am still attached to feelings of frustration when I don’t get my way!

And perhaps this is one of the most enlightening and empowering lessons I have re-learned over the last month or so since my silent retreat; that is to allow silence to come into my life whenever I feel that I don’t have it. It is at first a decision I have consciously made – that I want to feel connected and empowered, rather than un-resourceful and disempowered – and then it is a commitment to what I have heard described as every day conscious living. Victor, an immensely calm Peruvian yoga instructor I met on my Vipassana meditation had what appeared to be a flag tattooed on the inner side of his forearm. It was a deep orange, green and blue colour which was in fact a symbol or anchor for him to experience every day conscious living.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.Watch your words, for they become actions.Watch your actions, for they become habits.Watch your habits, for they become character.Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” Someone famous!

I think it’s very interesting that while I’m travelling and enjoying life and the incredible adventures and freedom of being in India, Singapore, Malaysia and now Thailand I still feel the same emotions that people do right across the world in this new era of uncertainty and enlightenment. While I am free, having a ball and enjoying myself; able to do what I want, when I want with who I want I still have challenges, uncertainties and gaps between where I am and where I want to be. I believe there is a fundamental and inescapable truth in life – that problems never go away! I’ve heard it said that if we’re lucky and grow we tend to have better quality problems, but it is the realm of delusion to hope or assume that one day you will no longer have problems.

As we grow and develop our skills and abilities (for example by immersing ourselves on NLP Courses) we learn to deal with these problems in new ways, at least that is the hope! Unfortunately it is not always the case. One of the ways we can deal with our problems better is through improving our understanding of the influence that language has on us and others, so perhaps calling these experiences challenges rather than problems is a first great step. We all love a challenge!

As Milton Erickson once said “you are going to use words that will influence the psychological and organic life of an individual today…. and twenty five years from now. So you better be willing to reflect upon the words you use… seek out and understand their many associations.” And still today, having studied linguistics over the last few years and been on many NLP Courses ,I am absolutely fascinated by the depth of their impact and my ability to continue learning how to use language to better influence my own world and the worlds of those around me.

Another way that we can better deal with our challenges is by embracing the realisation that we create problems through our thinking and perceptions and we can therefore solve them through changing our thinking and perceptions. So, to every problem there is a solution if we can just let go of our old ways of being and open up to a new truth, a new way of experiencing things. In fact I’d even go as far as saying that perhaps we create problems at an unconscious level so that we can evolve to a new level of being. That would be an interesting belief to hold.  And that is the power of good NLP Courses, in facilitating change at an unconscious level.

As you may have noticed all has been very quiet on the blog front since my Vipassana silent meditation. It’s quite funny because my life has been anything but quiet over the last month or two.

Following a couple of amazing NLP Courses, I have been on an amazing adventure, travelling around Kerala in India for two weeks with my mum, followed by a week with both my best friend and mum in Malaysia. Mother has gone home to England now and I’ve just come back from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur, and I now find myself in Thailand for a month’s rest, reading, writing, relaxation, rejuvenation and reconnection. I wonder when and where you are taking time for those things that matter most to you in your life?

So much has happened in the last month it’s difficult to know where to start. From relaxing and reflecting in peace on the beach and around the pool at the Secret Beach in Allepey, to my mother arriving and the ensuing adventurous two weeks – including elephant and boat rides on the backwaters of Kerala, to the tea plantations and stunning mountain views in Munar and beyond – it has been pretty much a non-stop assault on the senses and spirit.

We encountered much wildlife on our travels and we spent a couple of days trekking to and from, and relaxing in a small hut in the jungle, which actually looked more like the African bush than Indian jungle. We rode elephants, indulged our eyesight with the beautiful tea plantations and views stretching for miles from the mountains of Munar to the wilderness of Chinnar. We visited more than one bird sanctuary and a couple of wildlife parks and our transport broke down more than once in both Malaysia and India. We experience crashing thunder and awe inspiring lightning; vibrant botanical gardens and another close encounter with a monkey! And then there were the butterfly parks, the gut wrenching food poisoning and to counter it, the stunning beaches in Kerala and Penang; we’ve even shared wardrobes and taxis with cockroaches. More recently I spent the day at Singapore zoo which was breathtaking and incredibly well designed, although I still find it hard to embrace and enjoy seeing leopards and the like cooped up like prisoners with no end to their sentence!

Throughout my time over the last month, while alone and with my friends and family, the thing that has really struck me is how relationships magnify the human experience. In my journey over the last four weeks I have both dulled and magnified my experience while with and without other people. I’ve also realised just how important, perhaps the most important thing, relationships really are in life.

I really enjoy and value my time alone. And I also realize that exploring a theme park or zoo; travelling around and exploring is for me not as emotionally engaging or fulfilling as being with someone special. So I do believe that the purpose of relationships is to magnify the human experience.

Unfortunately that can work both ways, for better or for worse! And so having developed the relationship with my mum over the last few weeks, I wonder now where you can use a perceived challenge in your relationships to magnify your experience for the better, by being the change you want to see in others or the world.

So while embracing the reflective nature of our world and the Universe, where do you want to, or perhaps more importantly need to be more flexible, need to grow, need to be the change in order to enhance your relationships so that they can be all that they can be… and truly magnify your experience and the experiences of those around you?

Until next time…

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