When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the Mayonnaise Jar and the 2 Beers.

This is a story about a professor who stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.  When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full…. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.  He shook the jar lightly.  The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  Of course, the sand filled up everything else.  He asked once more if the jar was full. Read more…

“Be The Change You Want To See In The World” Mahatma Gandhi (A quick journey in NLP Modelling)

I don’t know a single person in the world with whom these words have not rung true.

I believe that the theme, the essence of these words – Be The Change – are more important and relevant right now than ever before.  In these times of incredible change in technology and human consciousness; in the way we do business; in the way we are called to show up in the World, we all have the capacity to be the change we want to see in this amazing World.

Its been some time since I’ve communicated with many of you, and there is good reason.  I personally have been through massive change in the last 6 months, having come back from a long hot winter in India.

Locals kids hitching a ride in Kerala

As most of you know I’ve taken the last couple of years off travelling, living in Ibiza and India, running workshops and developing my new venture – giving people the skills, experiences and models to literally Be, Do & Have Anything.

Really, the outcome of my ‘work’ is in marrying two apparently disparate concepts – Financial and Emotional Freedom. Success and Fulfillment.  Money and Happiness.

They seem to be very illusive for many people.  Often people make good money, but are not really happy.  And often they are happy and fulfilled, but do not have material wealth.

The question I have been asking for the last decade is, how can we have both?  How can we marry financial freedom – the ability to do what we want, where we want, when we want – WHILE also being truly and sustainably happy? Read more…

Why would anyone want to learn NLP?

I’ve just ambled lazily back across the pristine white sand of a deserted beach in Cherai having been swimming alone in the Arabian sea – a beautiful luke warm bath with surfable waves apparently induced by the solar eclipse.  Being back in India is like coming home!

The Kerala Backwaters... kissing the Arabian Sea

Having grown up until the age of 7 with with my parents who were hippies, and having lived in more houses that I have lived years its pretty much indisputable that I’m a born nomad.  And I normally feel very much at home wherever I am.  I have been living in Ibiza since last summer which I consider to be my spiritual home, despite the reputation it has among many in Britain!  But India feels as much a home if not more than anywhere else, and coming back here this year for a couple of months reminds me of how utterly special and unique this country is and how I want to keep coming back here each year – to this most rich, vibrant, beautifully alive and special place.

Today, the day of the solar eclipse, is a special day.  Not just because of the eclipse but because I have committed to recognising and changing a pattern of mine which I know will have a profound impact on my life, and perhaps more importantly the lives of others around me.

As you learn NLP you’ll discover what’s known as meta-programmes, or filters.  These are how we filter information coming through our senses and make sense of the world.  Well, today I have added a new one today, an important distinction for me, and that is the notion of ‘input’ versus ‘output’.  I love learning, in fact I am addicted to learning.  A much better addiction than some things, but nonetheless an addiction.  I love input, I love learning, I love to learn NLP; I love finding out what others do, say and think and modelling their success.  But today I believe its time that I reverse this pattern and now ‘output’ more than I ‘input’.

So my new blog and websites are being built and I am in the process of designing products and workshops to give others this rich, peripatetic, vibrant and fun life that I am so privileged to have, or whatever it is that they truly want!

Riding along the dusty roads today on my Enflield Bullet, the thud thud thud of the 350cc single cylinder engine attracting attention as if it were a pink tractor I realised just how lucky I am to have designed my life this way and I know have the desire to give others the gifts and leanings I have had along my journey.

One of many rides I gave to locals kids on my Enfleld Bullet

Its paradoxical in some respects that I am entirely responsible for creating my life in this way and yet at the same time there are unseen forces in the Universe that have helped conspire towards me following this path, to open up to and awaken to all the magical coincidences and synchronicities around me…. around us all!

And so riding along on my Enflied thinking about all this today, I became very grateful and excited. I also became aware of how I can tend to overcomplicated life.  Life can be very simple.  I know that from watching how simply people live out here.

The other day I asked Sajeen, an amazing and young yoga teacher in Cherai, “is life good”? to which he smiled and replied “of course” as if it could not be any other way and my question was absurd.  Now, that is simplicity, finding love and joy in everything because you choose to!

It’s funny that somehow in the so-called civilised West many of us have come to believe, or been conditioned through advertising and cultural norms – that if I get x I will feel y.  Whereas in fact we can feel any way we want whenever we want.  And then enjoy the journey as well as the destination!  Perhaps that is the secret, but of course knowing something and doing it are two very different things.

I heard Gary Vaynerchuck say earlier today “love what you do and if you don’t then STOP.  There is absolutely no need to be not enjoying yourself in this day and age.”

And I concur.  There is more technology, money, opportunity, information and wealth than at any other time in the history of humankind.  If you are pursuing making money or a 9-5 and you’re not enjoying it, then you are doing yourself and humanity a disservice and going after success rather than fulfilment.  And that to me is failure.

There are so many people with apparently so little who manage to be happy…. who manage to just be, and be happy, and I believe we can all learn the distinctions which enable them to live in that place.  For me one of those distinctions is a commitment to daily practice every morning, which at the moment is yoga.  As I sit on the beach now writing this blog, I am looking one way and then the other as far as I can see and there is not a soul… not a single solitary soul.  I could be lonely but I am not.  Because deep inside I am connecting to a place of love, joy and inspiration and that is open to all of us at any moment in time. And I’m outputting

And it is in that connecting, that desire to connect into the bigger system, to output rather than input, that I believe is one of our greatest sources of sustainable joy.  That is where we find happiness.  The question then is, what do we need to focus on, to believe in and do in order to be in that place of joy?  What do you need to focus on now?  Do you want to learn NLP to really accelerate your success?  Just remember, that success without fulfilment is failure.

Looking above me watching the eagles circling in the dense heat of the Indian sky, with nature all around blending seamlessly into an enticing array of colours, cows, cats, cockerels, ducks and dogs, I feel humbled as I reminisce on the rich and varied day I have had.  I am humbled by the smiles of nearly every person I passed earlier today on my motorbike; by the simplicity and pace of life; by the acceptance that all is as its meant to be.  As I recall – the three smiling middle aged ladies in vibrant buttercup-yellow dresses, the pink and orange houses that I passed and the cows grazing peacefully by the side of the road – I am reminded that happiness is all we want.  Happiness is all we truly want.  And that is success.  And that is why I decided to learn NLP…. to discover how I could be both happy and successful.

Go follow your bliss!
With love
Tristan

If you want to learn NLP feel free to enquire about my distance learning programme, or continue browsing the site.

I woke this morning to the most magical sunrise. It fact it was not the sunrise itself that was so magical but the clouds, in the way that they reflected and dispersed hues of orange, yellow and red stretching into silver lined clouds beyond.  And seeing them melting into the infinite blue sky beyond that really struck me.

It’s incredibly inspiring looking outside myself and being absorbed into nature and the world around rather than being absorbed in my own thinking; my own needs and desires.  I think it’s called being fully associated, or really in the moment!

And this morning I did that as I went for a run.  It was a truly magical, connecting and enthralling experience. I found myself running through deserted woodland, with the dew rising slowly and effortlessly from the green foliage around.  I’m feeling soft branches and leaves brushing my skin and the intense heat of the sun my forehead.  And I notice I am thinking of nothing and feeling everything.  And then as I become aware of the droplets of sweat beginning to fall from my forehead I notice myself saying ‘this really is beautiful’!  A big grin spreads across my face.

This I believe, is what life is about – experiencing the depths of our emotions, experiencing the here and now and perhaps more than anything, experiencing energy.

A couple of apparently profound thoughts came to me today while running and later sitting on the beach.  And one of those was about this concept of energy or flow.

I remember thinking to myself a long time ago about ‘flow’.  A  state of flow was something I really aspired to experience on a regular basis, in fact all the time. I became consciously aware of creating a state of flow myself and noticing when I was not in that state so that I could adjust my thinking, physiology and language patterns in order that I could get back into flow.

I think it is this, our ability to manage our state, change state and create a state that is really the difference that makes a difference in our experience of life, in our ability to be happy and to be, do and have anything we really want.

The only reason we do anything is for a feeling…

As humans we are emotion, or feeling driven creatures. We do things to gain pleasure and avoid pain, and often both are motivating factors at the same time.

There are three ways primary ways we create emotions. Firstly, we create emotion by what we focus on. So if you focus on something you want to have in your life you will have one emotional reaction, and if you focus on something you don’t want you have a different emotional reaction. Focus, whether thinking internally in our minds or looking outside of ourselves creates emotion or feelings.

Physiologically, or moving our body also creates emotion… if you slouch now in your chair and don’t move you create one emotion. And now as you sit up and smile and take a deep breath you will create another emotion. We really can profoundly affect our experience in the here and now simply by moving out body.  Motion creates emotion!

And finally our language, the words that we say to ourselves, also creates emotion.  Just think of the difference in your experience if you say to yourself “I feel fine” or “I feel great”.

These are the three core components that create the emotions we feel on a day-to-day basis, and indeed from moment to moment.  Language, physiology and focus.

How are you creating energy?

And in mastering and modelling the difference makes the difference in creating different states that you want in your life, you can become master of your emotions.

“What we see and hear is what we think about what we think about is what we feel. What we feel influences reactions. Reactions become habits and is habits that determine our destiny.” Bob Grass

So I wonder what it is you will be paying attention to today.  And I also wonder how you will be using your inherent ability to change the way you are using your body, your language and your focus of attention to create new experiences and the states that you want to experience moment by moment….

I woke up this morning and didn’t feel great.  I felt a resistance to writing.

Having said that I woke up wanting to achieve something today and that was to design a structure around my new website; to come up with some ideas around the structure, logos and colour scheme etc

Where I’d normally set myself up for the day physically, emotionally and mentally by going for a run, stretching, asking myself some great questions and exploring my outcomes for the day, instead I went straight into focusing on and creating this new website layout.

The lesson I got from this is is about decisions, the power of decisions and how we make them.  It’s more than I want to go into here, suffice to say there was a strategy I used there which is very useful and it certainly didn’t involve analysing much!

“It is in our moments of decision that our destiny is created” Anthony Robbins

You see, decisions happen in a moment, change happens in a moment!  But it can take a long time to get to the point of change or the decision.

So the book I’m writing is called Be Do & Have Anything, which is a pretty big claim! Having said that I do to truly believe that we can Be, Do & Have Anything!  If we simply learn how to learn understand what we truly want and the patterns of human behaviour that hold us back as well as those that get the results we want.

There are people out there in this world who have achieved enormous success who came from nothing. In fact if you look, statistically most famous people and self-made millionaires have come from impoverished backgrounds, traumatic childhoods or are in fact orphans!

So in some respects it’s pain, or ‘problems’ that can be the very catalyst or driver for success.  If you look up the dictionary definition of proBLEM – a blem is something symbolic throw in the way.  And ‘pro’ is something that comes before – your outcome!

I believe that success without fulfillment is failure and so rather than aiming at success, and possibly achieving it at the expense of happiness or all the other important things in our life, I believe that we should be aiming at becoming ‘the best me” possible.

You see most people in modern times have until now (and this is an enormous generalisation) aimed to have nice cars, houses, televisions, clothes and so on.  And to have what they think will make them happy. But generally it doesn’t create sustainable happiness or fulfillment because our emotional state changes all the time.

They tend to think in terms of

HAVE  X
DO  Y
BE  HAPPY

rather than BE, DO & HAVE…

This is the paradox of humanity, impermanence.  We aim and strive for certain things like happiness, a bigger house or a good job and then the feeling we get is only temporary so in trying to accumulate or have we’re missing the rules of the game.  The question now then, is what do we do?

Well have been conditioned or taught in Western society to do what we enjoy, to get a good education, then a good job. But this doesn’t make us happy in the long term either. It is only temporary.  There is a lot to be said for doing what you love or doing what you enjoy and we’ll be exploring how to find and follow your passions in life in due course but for now, and to illustrate a point – most people want to have so they can be happy and then they do things so that they can have things they think will make them happy and in doing so miss the rules of the game, the game of life. And that is that in order to be happy, we have to be.

There is no road to happiness, happiness is the road.

So the sequence I believe, in order to be truly happy is in fact

BE
DO
HAVE

We don’t have or do happiness, we are happy.  We aren’t human doings or human havings but human beings. Be happy, Do things that make you and others happy and then, in time you can Have Anything!

And so in learning how to be, and learning who you are, in being first, and then doing, we can then have anything we truly want and start to understand the paradoxical nature of the world by turning things upside down and going with the flow of the Universe, rather than the demands of our ego.  We then find our place in this world – where there is more joy, more possibility and more passion than most people would ever have dreamt of.

So who are you?

And how do you know when you are being your best?

And I wonder how you can set yourself up each day to be the best you, you can possibly be?

I open my eyes slowly and take a deep warm liquid breath as a gentle relaxed smile spreads across my glowing cheeks. Gazing into the infinite piercing blue sky I notice myself noticing birds floating gracefully and dancing like lovers just as my awareness comes back to my mind, and to my body. And as that happens, every time, I think what a wonderful way to start my day…how lucky I am to be alive, and in India of all places!

Lying on the beach, listening to the birds singing, and the sea making its beautiful music; the cool sand beneath my body I am completely relaxed; I am at one with nature, with myself and with the Universe. It’s funny, I have never experienced yoga like this before but I have now been enjoying Swamiji’s yoga on the beach a lot over the last 2 months since being in India.

That in itself is not remarkable, but waking up every day at 7am and spending an hour of the most intensely relaxing and gentle yoga is a true gift. There is no doubt that my flexibility in both thinking and behavior have increased, but there is more to yoga than just flexibility. Not only is it a great metaphor for NLP in many ways, but yoga also enhances and develops the mind body connection, that we all share as human beings. When we increase our flexibility and relax our bodies it invariably leads to increased flexibility in our thinking and we can then become more relaxed in our behaviour. It also connects us with that silent part; the knowing, trusting and loving part where everything just is….

And that has really been my experience of India in the last two months… one of letting go of old notions, of old paradigms, needs and beliefs; and enjoying a magical journey exploring and integrating new possibilities; new choices and dimensions of myself and of life… and of just being.

I have been asked to write an article by Sue about my experience here in India and there is so much I could say it is hard to know where to begin. I have had so many varied and rich experiences here it is a challenge to really communicate the true depth of the journey. From walking along the deserted picture-postcard white sandy beaches in Allepey occasionally festooned with old wooden fishing boats, to the cows aimlessly walking the beaches and sleeping in the streets of Tamil Nadu, the flowing richness and endless love that this magical and unique country offers the soul is like nothing I have ever experienced, and certainly difficult to put into words that can do it justice.

I think it is really in my heart where I am feeling the biggest difference. I believe that India in and of itself creates and inspires change in people. It is such a uniquely vibrant and colourful place that we can’t help but let go of the old and embrace the new. And yet paradoxically for me, while embracing the new it is like stepping back in time – to a more simple, more harmonious way of life. In many ways it feels like a home from home – so many things conspire to make me feel connected. The intense warmth of both the climate and the people; the sunshine and the pace of life make this feel more like what home should be like!

The differences in the values and culture out here is such a sharp contrast to that in the UK that I find it hard to imagine people being here and not experiencing a whole new side to themselves, and indeed life. Mix all that up with some utterly unique NLP training (I’m still searching for a better word than training!) and I have had what I can only describe as a uniquely spicy and succulent dish full of insight, growth, challenge, laughter, love and light. And that is just for starters!

Its funny, the driving on the ‘roads’ out here in India is what can only be described as an experience. It certainly exemplifies Indians enhanced ability to communicate non-verbally as well as their trust in life and the Universe. And that spreads far beyond their driving. It is deeply interwoven like a Kashmir jumper into the very fabric of society. And every day brings many new encounters demonstrating the trust and faith of these people. From the clothing and food to the many drumming experiences, temples and elephants I have encountered on my travels, faith and presence transcend.

There is an amazing contrast from the apparent organized chaos of the towns, driving and the roads, to the stillness and serenity of the trance inducing backwaters of Kerala and the countryside. It is said that out of silence comes a deeper truth. Certainly that has been true for me. When I spend time to myself; where I am alone, like now, or on the beach, reading a book, relaxing, or gazing into the sunset of a still evening there is a deeper truth that emerges, not from my mind but from being… just being.

There is a new sense of calm, serenity and love that I have experienced in my time here, away from striving, from having to, from running a business and managing things. I find that India has silence, space, and time to be, time to get out of our heads. Not as the English do on a Saturday night which is unsustainable in my view! But in a life enhancing and much more sustainable way where we can be much more present, in our bodies, or perhaps our hearts. It’s a letting go of that phovial vision, inner dialogue and muscle tension as John Grinder put it, so that we can be truly present.

And I think that being in India, in Kerala, in Cherrai, and slowing down, being present with people, really present with people allows all kinds of new possibilities, awareness’s and insights to emerge with a real sense of richness and warmth that I know I wouldn’t get in the UK

In my experience, in the UK some people explore NLP in a kind of get it done mentality, a ‘doing’ technique type affair, NLP as a set of tools and techniques. That has never been my experience with Sue, but from her desire to embrace the richness of the environment and culture out here to facilitate learning, I would say that for me and many people, there has been a deeper and more rapid awakening – a spiritual integration of NLP and Indian culture.

It strikes me that in NLP we often see the environment as the lowest level of change, and yet I think that by changing the environment we can and sometimes do get profound changes at higher levels. Einstein famously said we can’t solve a problem with the same kind of thinking that created that problem. By that rational we often have to think in a new way or at a higher logical level to find a sustainable and workable solution. And yet that implies that we have to think in order to solve problems, rather than getting out of our heads more and just being, or using our bodies as we do in yoga. Certainly from my perspective it doesn’t always mean we have think more in order to solve problems, in fact sometimes quite the opposite. We create problems in our thinking! Sometimes a new environment can radically encourage ecological change and that has certainly been true for me.

So India is now my home for the next few months, and in fact the world is now very much my home. For me, exploring, travel, sunshine, adventure, growth and learning, and surrounding myself with people who are playing life at a higher level is my drug of choice. I tried money and business, success and things; striving for more but none of them comes close to being here and living life to the full. And that takes letting go of old notions, needs and beliefs; of old paradigms – it takes being present, being open to the truth of who we really are, and really enjoying the truly magical journey we are all on.

Enjoy yourself enjoying others enjoying you….

I have just left an NLP Course.

As I fly across the heart of Southern India, from Chennai to Mumbai, or as the English called them Madras to Bombay, I am reflecting on my time out here in India and the amazing insights, revelations and adventures I have had. I wonder how much time we give ourselves in the West just to reflect, to be… in a neutral space and allow the emergence and enjoyment of natural being-ness. I think they call it meditation in the East.

I have been here for nearly two months now. England, winter and the credit crunch couldn’t be further from my mind. It is a strange feeling to even think of such things, and yet when I do, I realize how integrated and accustomed I have become to life on the road and living in India, and how nourishing it is compared to thoughts of striving for more in England when things seems to be almost going in reverse in the depths of winter.

As I write this, I am on my way to visit some very good friends on mine in the financial capital of India, Mumbai, which was struck by terrorist attacks just before I came out here. They are still suffering economically and socially to some extend in Mumbai with the impact of those atrocities. I am only there for a few days before heading back South to Cochin to and an NLP course run by Sue, one of my mentors.

My experience of Chennai over the last couple of days was nothing short of spectacular, bizarre and enlightening. So, where to begin? The spectacular for me, included being treated like some sort of a film star, having my photograph taken over a thousand times and handing out about that many medals and trophies to the children, teachers and parents of the phenomenon that is called BraioBrain. Boy, my feet hurt by the end of the day but my grin was practically glued onto my face.

BrainoBrain is quite simply a revolution in learning. It has been launched by 3 great friends of mine, Ashok, Arul and Anand who I met a few years ago but only really got to know in the last couple of months having spent so much quality time with them. The are brothers, and have all contributed to spreading this revolution, so far into 8 countries, and now, I believe, it is on the verve of exploding across the world due to the utter commitment of the brothers and all those involved. It is also down to the unique ability of BrainoBrain to help children in particular, but also adults to learn, to memorize, the be creative, to use left and right brains and develop the skills, abilities, knowledge and confidence to – I’d go as far as to say – create leaders in the world.

And I do not mean that lightly. What I witnessed as chief guest for the day at the 10th Indian National BrainOBrain competition was somewhere in the region of 4000 children, teachers and parents all committed to developing themselves and each other in a way that gets results unlike anything I have seen in traditional education before.

I gave a short talk on leadership, about being the change as Gandhi put it, and recognizing these amazing young children as leaders of the future… and in fact even as leaders right now. It really was an eye opening and spectacular day. The bizarre was feeling a little like David Beckham, being asked for my autograph by children.

And the enlightening was when I was talking to Ashok the following evening about my vagabonding lifestyle and not feeling like I have a real sense of purpose at the moment. He enlightened me to just what an impact I have had by being me, making the effort to be in Chennai for the event and the children – the hundreds if not thousands of peoples lives I touched by talking to them, being in their photos, giving them medals, recognizing their efforts and success; also playing and connecting with his and the other brothers young children – so that they now have a positive view of Western or white people, an anchor if you will.

Also by spending time in their home – apparently I am the first Western or white person ever to have dinner with him and his whole family – I am building cultural ties and mutual respect, understanding and possibilities for the future. That is something I believe the world needs right now – more understanding, compassion, respect and cohesion. So thank you Ashok, for waking me from my trace of feeling I was not really doing anything productive or constructive with my life, when in fact I am, we are, all the time touching other people’s lives in ways we cannot fully appreciate. As a bumble bee creates new life and possibilities for flowers by going about their normal daily lives completely unaware of the impact they have, we too touch people’s lives in ways we will never really fully know.

I have also been awoken in part by Uta as to what leadership is really all about. It is not, as she put it “about long term planning [or organizing or controlling things] but about doing what is right in front of you wherever you are”. And perhaps even more importantly, it is not really about doing, it is about being; being the change we want to see in the world, and in others; about being an example and living our deepest truth. About being truly present, here and now… and always.  That’s often more than you get on an NLP course in the UK.

I had the great pleasure of not just being force fed by the brother’s families in Chennai- for which I am very grateful, thought a little full, but also by Ramesh and Tulsi. And my hosts have at all times treated me impeccably (apart from the force feeding of course) and given me insights and pleasures I would not have otherwise experienced, had I just been a traveler or vagabond. So I am very much indebted to all my Indian friends for giving me such a rich experience of Indian culture and perhaps, I have got even more than I had previously imagined, now that I take time to…reflect.

Enjoy yourself enjoying others enjoying you!

Until next time….

If you’re interested in finding out more about mind-blowing nlp courses in India and Ibiza just go here.

Wow, what a couple of days. I left for Pondicherry, the former French colony, speeding away on my motorbike full of excitement and verve only to run out of petrol within about 15 minutes. I wasn’t told and I didn’t check to notice that the petrol tank was on ‘reserve’. Feeling slightly despondent I ground to a halt on the side of the highway baking in the sweltering heat, not looking or feeling quite so cool anymore. As I pushed my hunk of metal along the road, I started thinking about what I could learn from the experience; surely we can learn from all experiences…. A smile came across my face, even a smirk – prepare before setting off on any journey; take full responsibility, and make sure I have the necessary resources to reach my destination!

Luckily a friendly little Tamil chap who spoke absolutely no English signaled me to come with him to one of his friend’s shops – he did understand when I pointed at the petrol tank. Having had a good giggle about what I am not sure, and shared many smiles and even some of my biscuits, I set off once more having filled my tank with just enough petrol to make it a few miles.

The second time I ran out of petrol, another friendly not so little chap on the side of the road helped me to fill up with slightly more petrol, again from a plastic bottle. Only this time, just as I was departing another cheeky chap who spoke no English planted himself on the back of my bike for the ride. He was not my only passenger – I had another 2 people I gave lifts to, including a school kid who did actually speak English – a charming little fellow and cheeky enough to ask me for 1 rupee for having had the privilege of his company. It took me back to the days when I used to hitchhike around the South of England, only I didn’t ask for money! Lesson learned – if you don’t ask you don’t get. Actually he didn’t get either, but full marks for effort!

I did find it funny driving past a sign that said “Accident Zone” – I mean talk about embedded commands. As it happens, there were no signs of any accidents but on my journey – a cheeky monkey, a herd of goats, numerous cows and the odd dog pretty much threw themselves in front of my bike which was made all the more interesting because the breaks did not work very well, certainly not by English standards. Add to that, the fact that whoever made the bike decided to swap the sides where the break and gear-change pedals normally are. So every time I attempted an emergency stop I changed gear instead and every time I wanted to chance gear I’d slow down momentarily as I hit the break!

By day two of travelling on the bike I just about got the hang of it but a lifetime’s habit can be hard to change in a day. Having said that, never underestimate your ability to adapt and learn quickly, especially when its life or death. I think they call that leverage! As Darwin said, it’s survival of the most adaptable, not fittest, that counts. Luckily I was feeling pretty adaptable and so survived the numerous tests I was to face in the next day or so.

I mentioned the other day about some people out here not having hope, namely those who sleep under the stars. But that is not necessarily true. I believe that people here have more hope and faith than many people in England, but those that sleep rough and have nothing; I do wonder how much hope they have. I can’t answer that but I do wonder.

Having not eaten all day and feeling quite sunburnt I eventually arrived at the international community of Auroville – a project in ‘human unity’ – late in the afternoon having left the chaos of Pondicherry. Auroville was a somewhat surreal place… 80 rural settlements spread over 20k, about 1800 residents from 38 different nationalities of which two thirds are foreign. Each settlement has its own area of interest and expertise but I didn’t stay long, just long enough to have a portion of chips. I felt more at home in Pondy.

As I left Auroville to head back into the commotion of Pondicherry for the evening my horn failed. I counted how many horns I could hear within a 30 second period in Chennai and got to 67 before it became overwhelming and impossible to keep count – they love their horns out here! And I had lost mine, which actually put me at a serious disadvantage and also in peril. Without a horn you can’t make people aware of impending disaster or potential accidents that are around every corner. I resorted to revving my single cylinder engine as much as I could to get noticed, and not run over. It worked. And people also thought I was a madman so gave me an extra wide birth!

I passed a cow in the middle of the road which very nearly relieved herself all over me… luckily I evaded that with a big swerve into oncoming traffic. I’m sure I probably missed some sacred experience and would have been blessed for many lifetimes had I succumbed to the offering but instinct got the better of me.

I spent the first part of the evening alone on the sea front occasionally staring up at the stars and thinking of all the endless possibilities that lay ahead for me, and all of us on this journey.

“Buddhists believe that we live our ever day lives as if inside an eggshell. Just as an unhatched chick has few clues as to what life is truly like, most of us are only vaguely aware of the greater world that surrounds us. Excitement and depression, fortune and misfortune, pleasure and pain,” wrote Dhammapada scholar Eknath Easwaran, “are storms in a tiny, private, shell-bound realm – which we take to be the whole of existence. Yet we can break out of this shell and enter a new world”.

Having spent the evening with a very kind Tamil whose name I can’t remember and a couple of young Russian girls, one of which didn’t speak any English I took a rickshaw home at about midnight. I had a monkey attack me as I walked to find a rickshaw – I had to fend him off with my water bottle. It did occur to me that maybe I should have got my rabies jab!

The rickshaw driver, or rather rider, like most people I have met recently in Tamil Nadu spoke no English and was towing me, a cart, bicycle frame and himself along, all the time pedaling with bare feet! Judging by the look of him and the rickshaw, I suspect he was going to be sleeping on the side of the road. He forced his way for what seemed like miles across town. He had no idea where he was going so I eventually ended up getting out and taking a motorized auto. Despite haggling a good price with the barefoot rider and him taking me in completely the wrong direction, I felt pity on him and gave him the original price he quoted and a pack of biscuits. He didn’t say thank you, but then he didn’t speak English.

I had a large buffet lunch the following day having had a fairly lazy morning interspersed with exploring the craziness that is Pondicherry and the market rich with magical colours; fruits and vegetables; smells, spices and inquisitive smiles. After lunch I fell asleep in the park shaded by palm trees. On waking from my slumber I set off on my return journey to Mamallaparum.

About 35ks from home the clutch on the bike went. I was once again stranded, but still smiling. Eventually the chap from the motorbike shop turned up and we swapped bikes. Unbelievably I ran out of petrol again, on his bike this time! Someone stopped to help again. To be honest I was laughing, chuckling to myself at what an ordeal the whole bike saga had been. Even trying to start the Enfield on occasion took in excess of five minutes, and the bottom of my right foot is testament to that with the bruising and punishment it took in trying to kick start the forsaken machine.

It was dusk, the graveyard shift, although I didn’t yet know that. I decided that I had to make it home before it got dark so that I could keep wearing my sunglasses and protect my eyes from getting bugs in them as I rode home. But as the darkness closed in I found myself in something of a horror film, but this time I was the vicious maniacal murderer. I must have killed hundreds if not thousands of bugs with my bare face, arms and chest in that twenty minute ride home. Minute after minute the onslaught continued and even now I can feel my face wincing at the thought. It was pretty painful too. Bugs flying into your cheeks, forehead and arms at 40-50 miles an hour can pack a pretty good punch, especially the big ones!

And yet it was a fight against time, to get home quickly while there was still some light, so I could wear my sunglasses to protect me from the bugs. So I had to go faster and kill more. Oh, the graveyard that is my body…

Until next time….

Healing With NLP

Below is a transcription of a talk I gave very recently to a group of very good friends, most of which I had only known for 12 days from being on an NLP course in India with Sue Knight. I thought it would be a fitting way to start my blog, so I hope you enjoy this and what is to follow…..

healing with nlp healing with nlp healing with nlp healing with nlp healing with nlpng with nlp healing with nlp healing with nlp

I asked God for strength that I might achieve, I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health that I might do great things, I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy; I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men, I was given that I might feel the need of god.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life, and I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am amongst all men, most richly blessed.

healing with nlp healing with nlp healing with nlp nlp healing with nlp healing with nlp healihealing with nlp

That pretty much summarizes where I am at the moment, and my life to date and I guess where I have been holding my past. And I am really glad that Sue opened up the possibility of having some coaching this morning and it was ‘timeline’. Because while the experience over the last 12 days has been amazing I feel that it has really been about Sue building leaders in the world and modeling excellence and not NLP tools, techniques and perhaps what I would call therapy, or dealing with stuff. And I know that I have some stuff to deal with, and I am normally very good at dealing with that stuff.

Actually at the end of the last ‘Healing with NLP’ course I did a talk similar to this one. I was in floods of tears from start to finish, but don’t worry that’s not going to happen this time. But what was very interesting about doing the timeline this morning with Lesley, is that it brought up 3 things that I had completely blocked out of my memory. I was punched by a school teacher and kicked by the head master at my prep school – that is what came up for me as an emotional block in my chest when I went back in time exploring where that feeling or emotion came from… but there was still something about my neck – I was choked around my neck… and then it suddenly came to me. There was a time when I was very young, I am not sure how young, and I told my dad to fuck off. My dad was quite a violent man and he strangled me and he said ‘I’m going to fucking kill you”. He held on to me so tight that I thought he was actually going to kill me.

Just realizing that I thought, wow, that’s an interesting memory to come back.  Obviously something that was to this date holding me back unconsciously in some way. So I think that where I am now is the realization that everything is connected; my past, my pain, my suffering that I had a as a child has made me such an immensely powerful person – that I can now go and give to other people who really need to realise and release that power.

There have been a few people in my life who have really stood out and supported me – not healing with NLP, but with love. My parents couldn’t look after me when I was younger – they were both shall we say enjoying the ‘other side’ of life; they were alcoholics and basically hippies – I lived with them until I was about 7 and then my granddad who was in the army for 25 years looked after me because my parents were unable to. At the time it was very confusing because my parents just vanished one day – I didn’t know where they went – and I was left in a ‘military institution’ with my grandparents. Well my grandfather and my step grandmother – who were in fact the first colonels to get married in England ever.

I didn’t really know what happened for years. The next time I saw my dad I didn’t even recognize him, I had to ask my step granny who he was.

And so I grew up very confused, very lonely, I didn’t know I was depressed until I was in my 20s when I thought – what is going on here? So I went on a quest for knowledge, understanding and I am still on that journey now and I think I am now at a point where I am starting to kind of open up to people about my past. I tell a lot of people and I am open about my past but only certain people that I have a connection with, and never a group of people.

I think where I am coming to now, and this is just the tip of the tip of the iceberg, is that actually my past was a very powerful experience – I have gained a lot of strength from it, a lot of learning, a lot of meaning, a lot of compassion; I have learnt an awful lot from those painful experiences. I have known for a long time that I am here to help and inspire people and to give… and I have kind of been running away from that responsibility for years. I think being here in India and receiving all the feedback on my ability to coach and teach people; and seeing the truth of who I am, I know now that I have this calling which I can’t run away from.

And so the learning for me now is to allow myself to be vulnerable, allow myself to let go, allow myself to be here and now, present. If there are things coming up, to actually deal with them and to explore them in whatever way is appropriate.

And it’s starting to connect, I see like a figure of 8, or infinity. This ability we have to model anything means that I can literally go out and get anything I want. It was funny, when Sue asked yesterday, what did you model in those external environments – like the drumming, or yoga sessions etc, I thought, well there were a couple of things which were quite interesting, but I didn’t go out and consciously model much. So I think I am quite good at unconsciously modeling – I kind of pick things up but I find it quite difficult to go out and get something I want. But now I know that I can literally go out and get it – I can Be, Do & Have Anything I want in life. We really can, all of us!

It’s quite a responsibility to know that and to walk that path, this process that Sue talks about. You know we’re on a path of self discovery, of learning who we are, why we are here, of loving, loving ourselves, loving others… healing with NLP.

And I am now massively excited about the future. I can’t tell you how lucky I am to have what I always wanted.

Healing with NLP…

When I was a kid, we used to live in a cattle shed, we were homeless and literally lived in an old cattle shed across the stream from a very small village in the hills of Southern Spain called Benahavis. I remember roaming orange groves as a kid; we were like homeless little gypsy kids. I just remember the total freedom. Running around, picking oranges off the trees, having fun. I remember the sense of total freedom; sitting in the stream which was full of turtles and living in the sun. I always wanted that sense of freedom again when I grew up – that ability to travel, to have fun, be in the sunshine and be spontaneous and I’ve got that now. I have that opportunity!

And all of you have helped me so much in just being my mirror and, seeing how wonderful and beautiful you all are, how that is also in me. And I can love myself and let go of stuff… and just be… without any tension or worry.

So I am still on a journey and I feel very privileged. I know I have to look after myself and my health as a priority – and enjoy the journey, the spontaneity, the sunshine, and the people I meet.

At the same time, in my own way I can let go of the planning and the worry.
And just trust that things will come to me at the right time in the right way in the right place and I will be able to give my gift to the world in whatever way is appropriate.

So thank you everyone and thank you for letting me share my story. It’s quite a strange thing to share how bizarre your life can be with a group of people, and so thank you for listening and letting me share that with you… and… rock on!!

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.”

So why called this blog Healing With NLP?

Here are 3 truths about NLP:

‘Healing With NLP Truth 1′ - We are all on a journey (and as they saying goes it’s more important that the destination).

‘Healing With NLP Truth 2′ - We all have some sort of pattern(s) to heal.

‘Healing With NLP Truth 3′ - NLP is a tried and tested ‘what works’ methodology for healing any pattern.

I look back now and remember my early days in the NLP world thinking it was all about empowerment, releasing potential and awakening.  I now recognise it is very much about those things, but more than that it is about getting out of our own way, ‘letting go and letting God’, releasing childhood traumas and patterns so that we can be all we can be.  That it is a healing journey as much as it is an empowering one.  A journey of healing and much much more…

Until next time…

Enjoy your journey of empowerment… and healing with NLP.