When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the Mayonnaise Jar and the 2 Beers.

This is a story about a professor who stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.  When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full…. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.  He shook the jar lightly.  The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  Of course, the sand filled up everything else.  He asked once more if the jar was full. Read more…

“Be The Change You Want To See In The World” Mahatma Gandhi (A quick journey in NLP Modelling)

I don’t know a single person in the world with whom these words have not rung true.

I believe that the theme, the essence of these words – Be The Change – are more important and relevant right now than ever before.  In these times of incredible change in technology and human consciousness; in the way we do business; in the way we are called to show up in the World, we all have the capacity to be the change we want to see in this amazing World.

Its been some time since I’ve communicated with many of you, and there is good reason.  I personally have been through massive change in the last 6 months, having come back from a long hot winter in India.

Locals kids hitching a ride in Kerala

As most of you know I’ve taken the last couple of years off travelling, living in Ibiza and India, running workshops and developing my new venture – giving people the skills, experiences and models to literally Be, Do & Have Anything.

Really, the outcome of my ‘work’ is in marrying two apparently disparate concepts – Financial and Emotional Freedom. Success and Fulfillment.  Money and Happiness.

They seem to be very illusive for many people.  Often people make good money, but are not really happy.  And often they are happy and fulfilled, but do not have material wealth.

The question I have been asking for the last decade is, how can we have both?  How can we marry financial freedom – the ability to do what we want, where we want, when we want – WHILE also being truly and sustainably happy? Read more…

Grinning from ear to ear and very excited to be back, I have just arrived in the UK to grey skies and a damp Monday morning having been away for about 5 months. Time to reflect on what an amazing journey I have been on in that time, and perhaps what kind of journey you have been on too….

It has been about 8 weeks since I finished my Vipassana meditation where I spent over 10 hours meditating in silence each day and the other 14 hours not speaking, reading, writing or even allowed to look into other people’s eyes….

Meditating 10 hours a day!

You might be wondering then, what on earth I actually got up to and how that journey has affected me now that I am back in the UK. Read on to find out….

Day seven and I am all set to go – I’m fully committed – only three days left to go out of ten days in total silence, showing me Buddha’s path to enlightenment and liberation. Little did I know that when I decided to go on this experience, but I am here now and committed to finishing my stint!

And to be fair with six days behind me and only 4 days to go, it’s a walk in the park now, the final furlong! This is going to be great, having had a pretty tough time of it for six days, I’ve have had my breakthrough and I am committed to writing my book. It’s all good… I have even found that by sitting on my knees with my feet tucked behind me while meditating, I can sit still for over an hour without too much discomfort and without my back going into spasm. I’m not yet sure that I can do this for 10 hours a day, but it beats sitting in a half-baked backbreaking lotus position which I simply couldn’t handle with two crushed vertebrae in my spine.

So feeling rather confident and puffed up like a plump robin, I find myself sitting for 45 minutes after lunch when the teacher calls me up to the front of the dhamma hall as he does with most people to check they are doing things correctly. I get up and start walking towards him and notice that something’s not quite right. But before I know it my head hits the ground and I crumple into a pile on the floor. I don’t really know what happened so my natural instinct is to pull myself back up and start walking again. I collapse again. Only this time I don’t get up. The commands simply aren’t getting through to my lower body, I have two dead legs. Waking most people out of their deep trance, I realize I have caused an imbalance in the otherwise equinamous vibe of the afternoon’s meditation session so I slowly drag myself to the front of the room with my legs trailing like a leper’s behind me.

I sat there feeling slightly embarrassed, in pain and hopeless as the teacher completely dismissed the incident and instead checked to see if I was meditating correctly. He didn’t acknowledge that anything out of the ordinary had occurred and so I figured whatever did just happen couldn’t be that serious or injurious to my health. Now that is equinomous… model that!! After a few words from the teacher and reciprocating nods of the head from me, I quietly limped back to my matt and sat back in the same position with my feet tucked behind me. Within moments I realized that there was something adrift; all was not well. I slowly got to my feet and hobbled to the back of the room and then left the hall to journey once again to my home, this time hopping on one foot.

Oh dear, it would appear I did some serious damage to my foot. The rest of the day I am confined to my bed trying to make sense of what happened and more to the point trying to assess the severity or damage. Have I broken my foot or is it just badly sprained? Lying there feeling sorry myself, I eventually let go of what was happening to me and simply became aware of my feelings, aware of my foot, aware my unconscious mind, my untamed mind taking me on this journey.

Then as the afternoon passed I started to become frustrated and wonder what I was missing out on; the experience, the journey, the enlightenment that the others were having that I was missing out on.

After a few of hours of completely unequanimous behaviour I decide I can just hop my way to the finish line and I made my way to the meditation hall. I began to meditate again. The last two or three days were as usual challenging but also rewarding as I slowly began to accept and understand the teachings of Buddha and the universal laws of nature that were in those teachings.

To be honest, there’s nothing that profound or especially enlightening, or even that challenging in the teachings. They are to me and I believe most people common sense. It is not some religion, doctrine or dogma but an understanding of the universal laws of nature.

The meditation technique works on a practical basis by scanning the body for sensations and then ensuring our conscious minds do not react with craving or aversion to those sensations. How that works on an unconscious level I pretty much understand – reprogramming the mind to not react to physical sensations or anchors which otherwise would trigger certain behaviors, but I have not experienced a fundamental transformation by meditating in that way for just 10 days. Having said that I am much more mindful and centred these days, but that may well have as much to do with the amazing and enlightening journey I have been on these last five months as the 10 day Vipassana meditation.

In NLP terms the process is to me like collapsing anchors at an unconscious level. I’m just not sure that I want to turn into a monk and spend my life meditating two hours a day or more in order to collapse craving or aversion anchors. And I do not like the idea that apparently once you commit to the path of Vipassana meditation you cannot and should not look into other disciplines. Apparently this is so you can truly master the technique. I have no doubt that it works for many people. It is similar in my quest in becoming a real master in NLP, to commit to one discipline and become a master in that rather than a jack of all trades. But paradoxically NLP encourages us, even requires that we explore, model and learn from other disciplines and people. It is the pursuit of excellence, or a commitment to a process of modeling excellence that is so much more flexible and I believe powerful than Vipassana. With Vipassana meditation I can’t get immediate changes in others. With NLP I can.

Either way it was a very challenging, enlightening and profound experience and I would recommend others to go on that journey if only to explore the edges of your boundaries and comfort zone and experience an extended period of reprogramming your mind to just BE. I think the journey enlightens us to another way of being. One where we can remain equanimous or perfectly balanced no mater what is going on around us. Now tell me someone who wouldn’t want that with all that is going on in the world right now?! As usual, knowing something and living it are two very different things; I think the idea behind Vipassana is to live and experience that equanimity or balance on a consistent basis so that it becomes a deeply ingrained way of being.

So as I sit here watching the drizzle fall from the grey London skies outside, I am reminded of what a wonderfully enriching journey I have been on these last few months and how no matter what does or doesn’t work with Vipassana meditation techniques the principles and underlying psychology behind the technique is useful for all of us to keep in mind. With so much going on in today’s busy world and with so many challenges around us, it is perhaps more important than ever to remain in our flow, not craving or averse to any experience or emotion but in stead to be really present, alive and open to the Universe and all the wonders it has to offer.

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” Anais Nin

And on that note, I will leave you to enjoy the sunshine that has just emerged through the grey and apparently impenetrable clouds, as it always does!

Until next time…

I’m almost overwhelmed with everything that’s going on at the moment. And I say almost, because I choose not to be overwhelmed. As I notice myself feeling less than resourceful and my muscles becoming tense I inadvertently smile, as I am sure you sometimes do too when you realize the futility of getting overwhelmed or frustrated. I guess I must have created an anchor so that when I start moving into the less than resources state I instantly take a breath, relax my muscles, smile and let go. Sometimes I have to do it consciously because I am still attached to feelings of frustration when I don’t get my way!

And perhaps this is one of the most enlightening and empowering lessons I have re-learned over the last month or so since my silent retreat; that is to allow silence to come into my life whenever I feel that I don’t have it. It is at first a decision I have consciously made – that I want to feel connected and empowered, rather than un-resourceful and disempowered – and then it is a commitment to what I have heard described as every day conscious living. Victor, an immensely calm Peruvian yoga instructor I met on my Vipassana meditation had what appeared to be a flag tattooed on the inner side of his forearm. It was a deep orange, green and blue colour which was in fact a symbol or anchor for him to experience every day conscious living.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.Watch your words, for they become actions.Watch your actions, for they become habits.Watch your habits, for they become character.Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” Someone famous!

I think it’s very interesting that while I’m travelling and enjoying life and the incredible adventures and freedom of being in India, Singapore, Malaysia and now Thailand I still feel the same emotions that people do right across the world in this new era of uncertainty and enlightenment. While I am free, having a ball and enjoying myself; able to do what I want, when I want with who I want I still have challenges, uncertainties and gaps between where I am and where I want to be. I believe there is a fundamental and inescapable truth in life – that problems never go away! I’ve heard it said that if we’re lucky and grow we tend to have better quality problems, but it is the realm of delusion to hope or assume that one day you will no longer have problems.

As we grow and develop our skills and abilities we learn to deal with these problems in new ways, at least that is the hope! Unfortunately it is not always the case. One of the ways we can deal with our problems better is through improving our understanding of the influence that language has on us and others, so perhaps calling these experiences challenges rather than problems is a first great step. We all love a challenge!

As Milton Erickson once said “you are going to use words that will influence the psychological and organic life of an individual today…. and twenty five years from now. So you better be willing to reflect upon the words you use… seek out and understand their many associations.” And still today, having studied linguistics over the last few years I am absolutely fascinated by the depth of their impact and my ability to continue learning how to use language to better influence my own world and the worlds of those around me.

Another way that we can better deal with our challenges is by embracing the realisation that we create problems through our thinking and perceptions and we can therefore solve them through changing our thinking and perceptions. So, to every problem there is a solution if we can just let go of our old ways of being and open up to a new truth, a new way of experiencing things. In fact I’d even go as far as saying that perhaps we create problems at an unconscious level so that we can evolve to a new level of being. That would be an interesting belief to hold.

As you may have noticed all has been very quiet on the blog front since my Vipassana silent meditation. It’s quite funny because my life has been anything but quiet over the last month.

I have been on an amazing adventure, travelling around Kerala in India for two weeks with my mum, followed by a week with both my best friend and mum in Malaysia. Mother has gone home to England now and I’ve just come back from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur, and I now find myself in Thailand for a month’s rest, reading, writing, relaxation, rejuvenation and reconnection. I wonder when and where you are taking time for those things that matter most to you in your life?

So much has happened in the last month it’s difficult to know where to start. From relaxing and reflecting in peace on the beach and around the pool at the Secret Beach in Allepey, to my mother arriving and the ensuing adventurous two weeks – including elephant and boat rides on the backwaters of Kerala, to the tea plantations and stunning mountain views in Munar and beyond – it has been pretty much a non-stop assault on the senses and spirit.

We encountered much wildlife on our travels and we spent a couple of days trekking to and from, and relaxing in a small hut in the jungle, which actually looked more like the African bush than Indian jungle. We rode elephants, indulged our eyesight with the beautiful tea plantations and views stretching for miles from the mountains of Munar to the wilderness of Chinnar. We visited more than one bird sanctuary and a couple of wildlife parks and our transport broke down more than once in both Malaysia and India. We experience crashing thunder and awe inspiring lightning; vibrant botanical gardens and another close encounter with a monkey! And then there were the butterfly parks, the gut wrenching food poisoning and to counter it, the stunning beaches in Kerala and Penang; we’ve even shared wardrobes and taxis with cockroaches. More recently I spent the day at Singapore zoo which was breathtaking and incredibly well designed, although I still find it hard to embrace and enjoy seeing leopards and the like cooped up like prisoners with no end to their sentence!

Throughout my time over the last month, while alone and with my friends and family, the thing that has really struck me is how relationships magnify the human experience. In my journey over the last four weeks I have both dulled and magnified my experience while with and without other people. I’ve also realised just how important, perhaps the most important thing, relationships really are in life.

I really enjoy and value my time alone. And I also realize that exploring a theme park or zoo; travelling around and exploring is for me not as emotionally engaging or fulfilling as being with someone special. So I do believe that the purpose of relationships is to magnify the human experience.

Unfortunately that can work both ways, for better or for worse! And so having developed the relationship with my mum over the last few weeks, I wonder now where you can use a perceived challenge in your relationships to magnify your experience for the better, by being the change you want to see in others or the world.

So while embracing the reflective nature of our world and the Universe, where do you want to, or perhaps more importantly need to be more flexible, need to grow, need to be the change in order to enhance your relationships so that they can be all that they can be… and truly magnify your experience and the experiences of those around you?

Until next time…

I open my eyes slowly and take a deep warm liquid breath as a gentle relaxed smile spreads across my glowing cheeks. Gazing into the infinite piercing blue sky I notice myself noticing birds floating gracefully and dancing like lovers just as my awareness comes back to my mind, and to my body. And as that happens, every time, I think what a wonderful way to start my day…how lucky I am to be alive, and in India of all places!

Lying on the beach, listening to the birds singing, and the sea making its beautiful music; the cool sand beneath my body I am completely relaxed; I am at one with nature, with myself and with the Universe. It’s funny, I have never experienced yoga like this before but I have now been enjoying Swamiji’s yoga on the beach a lot over the last 2 months since being in India.

That in itself is not remarkable, but waking up every day at 7am and spending an hour of the most intensely relaxing and gentle yoga is a true gift. There is no doubt that my flexibility in both thinking and behavior have increased, but there is more to yoga than just flexibility. Not only is it a great metaphor for NLP in many ways, but yoga also enhances and develops the mind body connection, that we all share as human beings. When we increase our flexibility and relax our bodies it invariably leads to increased flexibility in our thinking and we can then become more relaxed in our behaviour. It also connects us with that silent part; the knowing, trusting and loving part where everything just is….

And that has really been my experience of India in the last two months… one of letting go of old notions, of old paradigms, needs and beliefs; and enjoying a magical journey exploring and integrating new possibilities; new choices and dimensions of myself and of life… and of just being.

I have been asked to write an article by Sue about my experience here in India and there is so much I could say it is hard to know where to begin. I have had so many varied and rich experiences here it is a challenge to really communicate the true depth of the journey. From walking along the deserted picture-postcard white sandy beaches in Allepey occasionally festooned with old wooden fishing boats, to the cows aimlessly walking the beaches and sleeping in the streets of Tamil Nadu, the flowing richness and endless love that this magical and unique country offers the soul is like nothing I have ever experienced, and certainly difficult to put into words that can do it justice.

I think it is really in my heart where I am feeling the biggest difference. I believe that India in and of itself creates and inspires change in people. It is such a uniquely vibrant and colourful place that we can’t help but let go of the old and embrace the new. And yet paradoxically for me, while embracing the new it is like stepping back in time – to a more simple, more harmonious way of life. In many ways it feels like a home from home – so many things conspire to make me feel connected. The intense warmth of both the climate and the people; the sunshine and the pace of life make this feel more like what home should be like!

The differences in the values and culture out here is such a sharp contrast to that in the UK that I find it hard to imagine people being here and not experiencing a whole new side to themselves, and indeed life. Mix all that up with some utterly unique NLP training (I’m still searching for a better word than training!) and I have had what I can only describe as a uniquely spicy and succulent dish full of insight, growth, challenge, laughter, love and light. And that is just for starters!

Its funny, the driving on the ‘roads’ out here in India is what can only be described as an experience. It certainly exemplifies Indians enhanced ability to communicate non-verbally as well as their trust in life and the Universe. And that spreads far beyond their driving. It is deeply interwoven like a Kashmir jumper into the very fabric of society. And every day brings many new encounters demonstrating the trust and faith of these people. From the clothing and food to the many drumming experiences, temples and elephants I have encountered on my travels, faith and presence transcend.

There is an amazing contrast from the apparent organized chaos of the towns, driving and the roads, to the stillness and serenity of the trance inducing backwaters of Kerala and the countryside. It is said that out of silence comes a deeper truth. Certainly that has been true for me. When I spend time to myself; where I am alone, like now, or on the beach, reading a book, relaxing, or gazing into the sunset of a still evening there is a deeper truth that emerges, not from my mind but from being… just being.

There is a new sense of calm, serenity and love that I have experienced in my time here, away from striving, from having to, from running a business and managing things. I find that India has silence, space, and time to be, time to get out of our heads. Not as the English do on a Saturday night which is unsustainable in my view! But in a life enhancing and much more sustainable way where we can be much more present, in our bodies, or perhaps our hearts. It’s a letting go of that phovial vision, inner dialogue and muscle tension as John Grinder put it, so that we can be truly present.

And I think that being in India, in Kerala, in Cherrai, and slowing down, being present with people, really present with people allows all kinds of new possibilities, awareness’s and insights to emerge with a real sense of richness and warmth that I know I wouldn’t get in the UK

In my experience, in the UK some people explore NLP in a kind of get it done mentality, a ‘doing’ technique type affair, NLP as a set of tools and techniques. That has never been my experience with Sue, but from her desire to embrace the richness of the environment and culture out here to facilitate learning, I would say that for me and many people, there has been a deeper and more rapid awakening – a spiritual integration of NLP and Indian culture.

It strikes me that in NLP we often see the environment as the lowest level of change, and yet I think that by changing the environment we can and sometimes do get profound changes at higher levels. Einstein famously said we can’t solve a problem with the same kind of thinking that created that problem. By that rational we often have to think in a new way or at a higher logical level to find a sustainable and workable solution. And yet that implies that we have to think in order to solve problems, rather than getting out of our heads more and just being, or using our bodies as we do in yoga. Certainly from my perspective it doesn’t always mean we have think more in order to solve problems, in fact sometimes quite the opposite. We create problems in our thinking! Sometimes a new environment can radically encourage ecological change and that has certainly been true for me.

So India is now my home for the next few months, and in fact the world is now very much my home. For me, exploring, travel, sunshine, adventure, growth and learning, and surrounding myself with people who are playing life at a higher level is my drug of choice. I tried money and business, success and things; striving for more but none of them comes close to being here and living life to the full. And that takes letting go of old notions, needs and beliefs; of old paradigms – it takes being present, being open to the truth of who we really are, and really enjoying the truly magical journey we are all on.

Enjoy yourself enjoying others enjoying you….

I have just left an NLP Course.

As I fly across the heart of Southern India, from Chennai to Mumbai, or as the English called them Madras to Bombay, I am reflecting on my time out here in India and the amazing insights, revelations and adventures I have had. I wonder how much time we give ourselves in the West just to reflect, to be… in a neutral space and allow the emergence and enjoyment of natural being-ness. I think they call it meditation in the East.

I have been here for nearly two months now. England, winter and the credit crunch couldn’t be further from my mind. It is a strange feeling to even think of such things, and yet when I do, I realize how integrated and accustomed I have become to life on the road and living in India, and how nourishing it is compared to thoughts of striving for more in England when things seems to be almost going in reverse in the depths of winter.

As I write this, I am on my way to visit some very good friends on mine in the financial capital of India, Mumbai, which was struck by terrorist attacks just before I came out here. They are still suffering economically and socially to some extend in Mumbai with the impact of those atrocities. I am only there for a few days before heading back South to Cochin to and an NLP course run by Sue, one of my mentors.

My experience of Chennai over the last couple of days was nothing short of spectacular, bizarre and enlightening. So, where to begin? The spectacular for me, included being treated like some sort of a film star, having my photograph taken over a thousand times and handing out about that many medals and trophies to the children, teachers and parents of the phenomenon that is called BraioBrain. Boy, my feet hurt by the end of the day but my grin was practically glued onto my face.

BrainoBrain is quite simply a revolution in learning. It has been launched by 3 great friends of mine, Ashok, Arul and Anand who I met a few years ago but only really got to know in the last couple of months having spent so much quality time with them. The are brothers, and have all contributed to spreading this revolution, so far into 8 countries, and now, I believe, it is on the verve of exploding across the world due to the utter commitment of the brothers and all those involved. It is also down to the unique ability of BrainoBrain to help children in particular, but also adults to learn, to memorize, the be creative, to use left and right brains and develop the skills, abilities, knowledge and confidence to – I’d go as far as to say – create leaders in the world.

And I do not mean that lightly. What I witnessed as chief guest for the day at the 10th Indian National BrainOBrain competition was somewhere in the region of 4000 children, teachers and parents all committed to developing themselves and each other in a way that gets results unlike anything I have seen in traditional education before.

I gave a short talk on leadership, about being the change as Gandhi put it, and recognizing these amazing young children as leaders of the future… and in fact even as leaders right now. It really was an eye opening and spectacular day. The bizarre was feeling a little like David Beckham, being asked for my autograph by children.

And the enlightening was when I was talking to Ashok the following evening about my vagabonding lifestyle and not feeling like I have a real sense of purpose at the moment. He enlightened me to just what an impact I have had by being me, making the effort to be in Chennai for the event and the children – the hundreds if not thousands of peoples lives I touched by talking to them, being in their photos, giving them medals, recognizing their efforts and success; also playing and connecting with his and the other brothers young children – so that they now have a positive view of Western or white people, an anchor if you will.

Also by spending time in their home – apparently I am the first Western or white person ever to have dinner with him and his whole family – I am building cultural ties and mutual respect, understanding and possibilities for the future. That is something I believe the world needs right now – more understanding, compassion, respect and cohesion. So thank you Ashok, for waking me from my trace of feeling I was not really doing anything productive or constructive with my life, when in fact I am, we are, all the time touching other people’s lives in ways we cannot fully appreciate. As a bumble bee creates new life and possibilities for flowers by going about their normal daily lives completely unaware of the impact they have, we too touch people’s lives in ways we will never really fully know.

I have also been awoken in part by Uta as to what leadership is really all about. It is not, as she put it “about long term planning [or organizing or controlling things] but about doing what is right in front of you wherever you are”. And perhaps even more importantly, it is not really about doing, it is about being; being the change we want to see in the world, and in others; about being an example and living our deepest truth. About being truly present, here and now… and always.  That’s often more than you get on an NLP course in the UK.

I had the great pleasure of not just being force fed by the brother’s families in Chennai- for which I am very grateful, thought a little full, but also by Ramesh and Tulsi. And my hosts have at all times treated me impeccably (apart from the force feeding of course) and given me insights and pleasures I would not have otherwise experienced, had I just been a traveler or vagabond. So I am very much indebted to all my Indian friends for giving me such a rich experience of Indian culture and perhaps, I have got even more than I had previously imagined, now that I take time to…reflect.

Enjoy yourself enjoying others enjoying you!

Until next time….

If you’re interested in finding out more about mind-blowing nlp courses in India and Ibiza just go here.

Healing With NLP

Below is a transcription of a talk I gave very recently to a group of very good friends, most of which I had only known for 12 days from being on an NLP course in India with Sue Knight. I thought it would be a fitting way to start my blog, so I hope you enjoy this and what is to follow…..

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I asked God for strength that I might achieve, I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health that I might do great things, I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy; I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men, I was given that I might feel the need of god.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life, and I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am amongst all men, most richly blessed.

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That pretty much summarizes where I am at the moment, and my life to date and I guess where I have been holding my past. And I am really glad that Sue opened up the possibility of having some coaching this morning and it was ‘timeline’. Because while the experience over the last 12 days has been amazing I feel that it has really been about Sue building leaders in the world and modeling excellence and not NLP tools, techniques and perhaps what I would call therapy, or dealing with stuff. And I know that I have some stuff to deal with, and I am normally very good at dealing with that stuff.

Actually at the end of the last ‘Healing with NLP’ course I did a talk similar to this one. I was in floods of tears from start to finish, but don’t worry that’s not going to happen this time. But what was very interesting about doing the timeline this morning with Lesley, is that it brought up 3 things that I had completely blocked out of my memory. I was punched by a school teacher and kicked by the head master at my prep school – that is what came up for me as an emotional block in my chest when I went back in time exploring where that feeling or emotion came from… but there was still something about my neck – I was choked around my neck… and then it suddenly came to me. There was a time when I was very young, I am not sure how young, and I told my dad to fuck off. My dad was quite a violent man and he strangled me and he said ‘I’m going to fucking kill you”. He held on to me so tight that I thought he was actually going to kill me.

Just realizing that I thought, wow, that’s an interesting memory to come back.  Obviously something that was to this date holding me back unconsciously in some way. So I think that where I am now is the realization that everything is connected; my past, my pain, my suffering that I had a as a child has made me such an immensely powerful person – that I can now go and give to other people who really need to realise and release that power.

There have been a few people in my life who have really stood out and supported me – not healing with NLP, but with love. My parents couldn’t look after me when I was younger – they were both shall we say enjoying the ‘other side’ of life; they were alcoholics and basically hippies – I lived with them until I was about 7 and then my granddad who was in the army for 25 years looked after me because my parents were unable to. At the time it was very confusing because my parents just vanished one day – I didn’t know where they went – and I was left in a ‘military institution’ with my grandparents. Well my grandfather and my step grandmother – who were in fact the first colonels to get married in England ever.

I didn’t really know what happened for years. The next time I saw my dad I didn’t even recognize him, I had to ask my step granny who he was.

And so I grew up very confused, very lonely, I didn’t know I was depressed until I was in my 20s when I thought – what is going on here? So I went on a quest for knowledge, understanding and I am still on that journey now and I think I am now at a point where I am starting to kind of open up to people about my past. I tell a lot of people and I am open about my past but only certain people that I have a connection with, and never a group of people.

I think where I am coming to now, and this is just the tip of the tip of the iceberg, is that actually my past was a very powerful experience – I have gained a lot of strength from it, a lot of learning, a lot of meaning, a lot of compassion; I have learnt an awful lot from those painful experiences. I have known for a long time that I am here to help and inspire people and to give… and I have kind of been running away from that responsibility for years. I think being here in India and receiving all the feedback on my ability to coach and teach people; and seeing the truth of who I am, I know now that I have this calling which I can’t run away from.

And so the learning for me now is to allow myself to be vulnerable, allow myself to let go, allow myself to be here and now, present. If there are things coming up, to actually deal with them and to explore them in whatever way is appropriate.

And it’s starting to connect, I see like a figure of 8, or infinity. This ability we have to model anything means that I can literally go out and get anything I want. It was funny, when Sue asked yesterday, what did you model in those external environments – like the drumming, or yoga sessions etc, I thought, well there were a couple of things which were quite interesting, but I didn’t go out and consciously model much. So I think I am quite good at unconsciously modeling – I kind of pick things up but I find it quite difficult to go out and get something I want. But now I know that I can literally go out and get it – I can Be, Do & Have Anything I want in life. We really can, all of us!

It’s quite a responsibility to know that and to walk that path, this process that Sue talks about. You know we’re on a path of self discovery, of learning who we are, why we are here, of loving, loving ourselves, loving others… healing with NLP.

And I am now massively excited about the future. I can’t tell you how lucky I am to have what I always wanted.

Healing with NLP…

When I was a kid, we used to live in a cattle shed, we were homeless and literally lived in an old cattle shed across the stream from a very small village in the hills of Southern Spain called Benahavis. I remember roaming orange groves as a kid; we were like homeless little gypsy kids. I just remember the total freedom. Running around, picking oranges off the trees, having fun. I remember the sense of total freedom; sitting in the stream which was full of turtles and living in the sun. I always wanted that sense of freedom again when I grew up – that ability to travel, to have fun, be in the sunshine and be spontaneous and I’ve got that now. I have that opportunity!

And all of you have helped me so much in just being my mirror and, seeing how wonderful and beautiful you all are, how that is also in me. And I can love myself and let go of stuff… and just be… without any tension or worry.

So I am still on a journey and I feel very privileged. I know I have to look after myself and my health as a priority – and enjoy the journey, the spontaneity, the sunshine, and the people I meet.

At the same time, in my own way I can let go of the planning and the worry.
And just trust that things will come to me at the right time in the right way in the right place and I will be able to give my gift to the world in whatever way is appropriate.

So thank you everyone and thank you for letting me share my story. It’s quite a strange thing to share how bizarre your life can be with a group of people, and so thank you for listening and letting me share that with you… and… rock on!!

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.”

So why called this blog Healing With NLP?

Here are 3 truths about NLP:

‘Healing With NLP Truth 1′ - We are all on a journey (and as they saying goes it’s more important that the destination).

‘Healing With NLP Truth 2′ - We all have some sort of pattern(s) to heal.

‘Healing With NLP Truth 3′ - NLP is a tried and tested ‘what works’ methodology for healing any pattern.

I look back now and remember my early days in the NLP world thinking it was all about empowerment, releasing potential and awakening.  I now recognise it is very much about those things, but more than that it is about getting out of our own way, ‘letting go and letting God’, releasing childhood traumas and patterns so that we can be all we can be.  That it is a healing journey as much as it is an empowering one.  A journey of healing and much much more…

Until next time…

Enjoy your journey of empowerment… and healing with NLP.